-11 jars of Marmite
-72 midgets, 15 of which should be Hungarian & blind
-4 Vietnamese ladyboys
-692 kiwi fruits
-13 tubs of Smarties ice cream
Get every single one of the midgets that aren't hungarian to fuck one jar of Marmite. The 15 hungarian midgets have to fight one other so that only 10 are left. The surviving hungarian midgets have to fuck one jar of Marmite each.
Tape the dead midgets together and bring it to life with a bolt of lightning. This creature should then begin to rape the 4 Vietnamese ladyboys so hard, that the ladyboys and the creature fuse together to create Mechafuck.
Offer Mechafuck the ruler, which it will then use to pleasure itself with. After Mechafuck has climaxed and started walking, MAKE SURE it treads on every single one of the kiwis. Gather the kiwi juice and pour it into ONE tub of Smarties ice cream.
But, remember the midgets who didn't form a part of Mechafuck? These should have all finished fucking the Marmite jars by now, so go and train the midgets to be ninjas. Have them perform a massive cataclysmic fight with Mechafuck. Mechafuck will die, and its death will cause an eruption of semen.
Hopefully when this happens you'll have the tubs of Smarties ice cream with you EXCEPT for the one with kiwi juice in it. Use the tubs to drift the sea of jizz. You must recover the bodies of your midget ninjas, and perform 9 bases of your choice. After this, you must throw yourself in the sea of jizz and die.
Man #1: Dude, I just got to 64th base!
Man #2: What?! You've been on Urban Dictionary again haven't you?
Man #1: Uh...
Man #2: Everyone on that site is a sick pervert.