The act of taking a poop in a bathroom so quickly and quietly, that others are lead to think you simply took a leak or were merely washing your hands.
Usually required in bathrooms with thin walls or one room apartments, in which visitors can easily hear the quietest of bathroom activity.
Commonly used tactics that will aid a person while executing a ninja poop:
- Turning on the faucet after taking a seat, to buy extra time at the beginning of your toilet deposit
- Opening and slamming shut cabinet doors and medicine mirrors to cover any butt symphony harmonies
- While you are supposed to be washing hands, use this bonus time to spray a noisy aerosol freshener to mask the smell
- If no aerosol spray, use extra handsoap to soften the pungent smell of your toilet baby
- If no hand soap, just pray to the toilet gods that no one enters that bathroom
- An advanced tactic, is turning on the bathroom fan, if available, upon entering and exiting. It will help muffle sounds and smells during. The act of turning the fan off upon exiting, shows confidence and swagger. People think that a fan was not needed after you used the restroom because you definitely didn't just drop a deuce
, but you did.
Girls have long practiced the art of ninja pooping, and can go a lifetime without ever having to admit to going #2
Tom - "Dude I just took the biggest dump ever!"
Dan - "What? You were only gone for like a minute."
Tom - "I know. Ninja poop brah
Dan - "Oh, right on!"
Dan - "You didn't wash your hands did you?"
Tom - "No time."
Dan - "Gross."