Food god: Hurry, pick it up. 5 second rule!
~5 seconds later~
Food god: I am angered! I shall infest your sandwich with cooties!!
Hot Girl:Hey! Are you listening to me!
Guy:Oh! I'm sorry babe 5 second rule.
Husband: Look honey! It's kissing its reflection.
Wife: Urg! Stop molesting my mirror!
Husband: I'm not. 5-second rule! See. Smooch, one second. Smooch, one second. Smooch, one second...
Wife: (leaves to buy a new mirror)