To preform the Dick van Dyke, the man must have their partner get on the ground up side-down, so that their ass is in the air.
The partner then, completely naked, enters the room whilst sining the Dick van Dyke Show theme song. He then trips over a nearby ottoman, thus catapulting him into the air. He then attempts to enter into his hole of choice in his partner.
Ted: Nah, I'm going to the store to buy an ottoman so I can Dick van Dyke my girlfriend.