1.) What you do when your girlfriend is not at home.

2.) The reason why people buy playboys.

3.) The reason why old people are having more heart attacks.

4.) The reason why birth-rate decreased by 60% in the last 20 years.

5.) What 30% of the world population is doing now.
The old man had several heart attacks due to his recent masturbations. He had too much excitement
Jake tərəfindən 22 Aprel 2005
To have sexual intercourse alone. Males usually look at porn while doing this. Take 1 hand put it on the shaft of the penis. rub it up and down until it gets at its full potential. slowly increase your speed until you cant stop. it feels so good and no worries about pregnancy im pretty sure everyone does it sometime during every day.(i know i do)after beating it for a minute or a few you will reach the climax and ejaculate all over. the more you do it the farther you will shoot :D then your penis head becomes very sensative after you shot. Then you quickly turn off your porn, put your clothes back on and act like nothing happened. girls on the other hand take more time to do this. they mostly do it when they are away from people for a long enough time. You sit down usually on a comfortable chair or couch and then u stick your middle finger inside your vagina. Or you can take a few fingers and rub the clitoris (most sensative spot) some girls like to get ready for men in their life or just dont want to risk anything so they use a dildo(a plastic penis)Girls can either bend over and give anal masturbation which feels good or stick it the vagina slowly and deep. the girl will have an orgasm and if goes long enough will also jizz (lots more)girls after masturbation feel worn out and will most likely relax for a few minutes maybe rubbing boobs or clit very slowly.
A:I was masturbating beforee i went to bed last night.
B:Me too.
A:Yeah, Who dosn't.

A:I masturbate every time i get 20 minutes alone.
B:I do it with my sister watching.

A:Girl)Yesterday I masturbated for 40 minutes and i stained my couch
B:Boy)Yeah, i was watching through your window.

A:Girl)Wanna come over tonight and masturbate with me?
B:Girl)Yeah, ill bring my dildo.

A:Girl)Aww Yea! Aawwww awww! yea ! ye!
B:Girl)OH yeah u like that? U want it deeper
A:Girl Aww awww!! (orgasm)
ibeatoff3timesaday tərəfindən 25 Noyabr 2006
to wank off

Last night, I lay my head upon my pillow,
But stayed up late, to masturbate.
Last night, I lay myself upon my bed, but
I stayed awake, for pleasure's sake.
You should see me working on the short strokes,
It's really grand, I use my hand;
You should see me working on the long strokes,
It's really neat, I use my feet.
Smash it! Bash it! Pound it on the floor!
Smite it! Bite it! Ram it through the door!
Oh, it's so neat to beat your meat while sitting on the toilet seat,
I got horny so I took off my clothes and masturbated.
attack of the pussies tərəfindən 05 Fevral 2006
1) SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement. (v.) The act of sexually pleasing yourself to orgasm. For males this involves using the hands to massage the penis in a thrusting motion, while for females this involves rubbing and stimulation of the vaginal and clittoral areas. This is often accompanied by some sort of sexually pleasing visual and/or mental stimulation.

2) (n.) Something a true Catholic cannot do because the wrath of the imaginary friend will come down upon them. See god.

I was so horny I bought a Playboy and masturbated.
fraghappy tərəfindən 06 Noyabr 2003
One of the sexiest things that a man can possibly do.
Hot damn...there isn't much else I can say.
raspberry (lust) muffin tərəfindən 10 İyul 2005
When one stimulates the genetilia. For guys, it involves taking their hands and gently rubbing up and down on their cock and they seem to get harder and harder and start rubbing faster until he cums all over the place, he also will get VERY horny and have an orgasim. For girls, it involves sticking one, two, three, four. or how ever many fingers or a foreign object in their vagina hole; often called "sticky fingers" becasue your fingers do tend to get sticky, but its pleasurable. You tend to do it while having cyber sex or looking at dicks.... it gets you very horny and you reach a HUGE orgasim.
I can't come down for dinner right now, I'm too busy masturbating and it feels SO good!
ANYONE could! tərəfindən 15 Fevral 2005
something you do to feel like you are fucking yourself :)
masturbate is pleasure
zedo tərəfindən 28 İyul 2006
When a woman is pushing the magic button
"Do you masturbate?" "All us women push the magic button sometime."
erotica69 tərəfindən 16 Sentyabr 2005
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